You have permission

I just came across a poem that deeply resonates for me, and it may strike a chord with you too.

It’s about giving yourself permission.

The poem is by Leonie Dawson and here it is…

Today, and everyday, you have permission.

You have permission.

You have permission to say no to demands on your time that don’t light you up, and don’t give energy back to you.

You have permission to not give a crap what’s happening outside your world, and keep your energy focussed on what you are creating.

You have permission to let go of friendships that make you feel like shit.

You have permission to say no whenever you like, however you like, in whatever kind of voice you like, without feeling like only Mean Girls Say No and Nice Girls Say Yes. That’s bull. Yes and No have equal weighting – what’s important is if you use them when they are the best thing for you, not out of fear, obligation or guilt.

You have permission to know that Yes is powerful, and so is No. The power comes from you using either from your highest spirit and truest integrity.

You have permission to change. You have permission to not be the person you once were.

You have permission to get angry and self-righteous, and to also glean the wisdom from those emotions. They are leading you to where your boundaries are, and where they have been crossed, and what you need to do from now on.

You have permission to be exactly how you are.

You have permission to not be more like anyone else in the world, even if you think they are better, wiser or more popular. You have permission to be more like yourself, your gifts and your wisdom.

You have permission to not care what other people think of you.

You have permission to not try to change what other people think of you. You can’t ever argue that you are a good person. They will either know you are, or not. You don’t need to spend time with people who don’t believe in you.

You have permission to do things that your friends and family do not.

You have permission to be wild, expressive, truthful, exciting and outspoken.

You have permission to not accept friendship requests on Facebook, or anywhere else in your life. You have permission to block people whenever you like.

You have permission to share as much or as little as you like. You have permission to blog, or not blog. You have permission to Twitter, or not to Twitter. It doesn’t really matter. As long as it’s making you happy, that’s the best thing.

You have permission to suck at a wide variety of activities. It’s okay. You make up for it with your million other brilliance particles.

You have permission to be whatever body shape you like.

You have permission to choose, and choose again. And then choose again.

You have permission to not always be a perfect image of something.

You have permission to be a contradiction.

You have permission to not go to your school reunion, unless it really excites you and delights you, and you would love to really heart-reconnect with people you went to school with.

You have permission to not be interested in the newest fad: harem pants, geek glasses, polaroid cameras, scrapbooking, macrame. You also have permission to be totally obsessed with them, if it makes your heart light up.

You have permission to cut people from your life. You have permission to surround yourself with people who are good and loving and nurturing to you.

You have permission to be a disappointment to some people, as long as you’re not a disappointment to yourself.

You have permission to do nothing whenever you like.

You have permission to make your big dream come true.

You have permission to not do it all perfectly, or have all your shit together.

You have permission to not forgive people. You have permission to forgive people when it’s right for you.

You have permission to think some people are crazy. You have permission to think some people are smigging ice-cream with chocolate and wafers and sprinkles and cherries on top.

You have permission to not have the perfect relationship.

You have permission to not have a relationship.

You have permission to take whatever time you need for you.

You have permission to make ridiculous choices for yourself.

You have permission to use and listen to your intuition. To feel when things are off, and to remove yourself from them, even when you don’t quite know why. You will always find out why. Our intuition is here to serve us.

You have permission to be down. You have permission to be up.

You have permission to still believe in unicorns and fairies.

You have permission to believe in things that other people think are very very odd and strange. You have permission to not care. You have permission to believe in things that make your life wholer, richer and deeper. You have permission to make your own world that is the truest painting of you.

You have permission to suck at coloring in.

You have permission to say bugger off to anyone who has ever told you that you’re not good enough, you’re not worth it, you are not beautiful, you are not lovable and you are not the most divine, wise, delicious Goddess to walk the planet.

You have permission to know that you are.

You have permission to swear when you like, however you like, to your reckless abandon.

You have permission to not be the best of anything – just the best of yourself. And some days, just the best you can do that day.

You have permission to not always give. You have permission to fill your own cup up first.

You have permission to have things around you that delight you.

You have permission to live in a tipi if you want to, or a mansion. Whatever makes your spirit shine is the right thing for you.

You have permission to make choices on whether it makes your spirit shine.

You have permission to know you are a goddess, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when you feel utterly human. Even when you want nothing more than to climb under your blanket, or light up the sky.

You are a goddess.

You have permission.

You have permission.

You have permission.

I’d love to hear from you…which part of the poem spoke to you the most? Leave a comment below.

For me, it was “You have permission to change. You have permission to not be the person you once were.” Gulp, that’s a big one. It’s scary AND exciting. 

Starting today, let’s ALL give ourselves permission.

Love,

Devon

HOW to get unstuck and make your dream happen

As a coach, one of the most common things I hear from people is “I have a dream but I’m stuck on HOW to make it happen.”

I’ve been there too, and here’s what I’ve learned…

Check out the 5 steps for HOW to make your dream happen:

1. Ignore your Inner Critic.

The more excited you feel about making your dream happen, the louder your inner critic will become. It wants you to stay in your comfort zone, aka stay stuck, and not take risks. It pipes up and says “You’re not good enough, you’re going to fail, you’re a fraud, you don’t know what you’re doing…”. Sound familiar?

That voice is a NORMAL part of going for your dream and the key is to not buy into what it’s saying. The inner critic is a fearful, small-minded voice designed to hold you back and it’s not who you truly are. My inner critic still pipes up, like right now, “This blog post is too long, you’re not a great writer…blah,blah,blah) but I continue to take action in spite of it and that’s made all the difference.

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

2. Listen to your Intuition and not Naysayers.

Whoever says you can’t do what you love and be successful, has never done it. To put it bluntly, don’t listen to them. When I exited my real estate career to pursue Beyond the Arena full-time, numerous well-intentioned people advised me to keep my real estate license “just in case” and “as a backup”.

But my intuition said something different. It told me to cut off the golden handcuffs and go for it. After a three and a half years of of building Beyond the Arena and selling houses simultaneously, it was time to leave real estate behind. Your intuition will guide you step by step if you listen, trust, and follow it.

“Consider the track record of your naysayers. How many dreams have they successfully brought into this world?” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

3. Find a Mentor.

My dream of Beyond the Arena would not have happened without mentors.

A mentor is someone who has blazed the trail before you and has experience, advice, and wisdom on how to get from where you are, to where you want to be.

Most importantly, a mentor believes in you and inspires you to keep going. No matter what your dream is, there are people who have experience doing what you want to do. Here are my mentors:

Melisa Pearce is the creator of the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method, a savvy entrepreneur, and she lives the horsewoman dream. When I first arrived at her barn for my certification training, my jaw dropped as I looked around at the gorgeous horses, inspirational posters on the walls, and indoor arena with epic views of the Flatiron mountains. I thought, holy sh*&, this woman is living her dream doing what she loves…it IS possible! Melisa has shown me THE LIFESTYLE THAT IS POSSIBLE BY FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS and I soaked up as much knowledge as I could from her. (Pic is at Melisa’s Touched By a Horse National Conference where she encouraged me to begin public speaking.)


Sally Hope is a former rockstar turned life coach and creator of the Wildheart Revolution. I met Sally at a life coach training and learned that she traveled the country in an RV, rocking her renegade life coaching business while writing inspiring blog posts. Sally is like a kickass, empowered older sister. I immediately signed up for her coaching program and she’s shown me how to BE AUTHENTIC IN MY BUSINESS, and successfully do things my own way.
(Pic is at Sally’s Wildheart Retreat in Montana which inspired me to lead my own retreats.)

“Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living—if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.” — Denzel Washington

4. Volunteer.

One of the best ways to get unstuck, is to get out of your head and help others. Google places and people who do what you want to do, and offer to be of service.

I volunteered at numerous therapeutic riding centers to gain experience, knowledge, and to get clear on the type of clients I wanted to serve. Volunteering gave me a purpose by helping others, and it was an effective way to gain experience in my dream career path.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” — Mahatma Gandhi

5. Take one small step every day.

There’s a lot of talk about the glorified “leap” of cutting ties and going for your dream. I’ll never forget the day I cashed my last real estate commission check and skipped out the sliding glass doors, but it was hundreds of small consistent action steps that led me to that moment. Take one small step everyday toward your dream…the steps add up.

“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb

Your dream doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen over time if you never give up, believe in yourself, get support, take risks, find a mentor, and take small actions each day.

I’d love to hear from you…which one of the five steps resonates with you the most? Post in the comments below!

Dreams do come true,

Devon

Join me on a road trip today to…

It’s Arizona or bust. Today, I’m embarking on one of my favorite trips…a road trip to Tucson, Arizona where my ultimate destination is White Stallion Ranch where I’m leading the UNBRIDLED Retreat.

I love a good road trip. Do you like road trips too?

There’s something about being on the open road with the windows down blasting Steppenwolf, Taylor Swift (#noshame), and Allison Krauss that fills my soul.

Road trips epitomize my number one core value…FREEDOM.

road-trip

I can stop wherever I want to (unless my car tells me it need gas), do some sightseeing, and visit friends along the way.

It’s where I contemplate life, and have the time and space to reflect on recent experiences. Watching the world go by and seeing new landscape, never fails to help me view things from a new perspective.

You’re invited to ride alongside on my trip and I’ll be posting live video on Facebook (CLICK HERE to follow), and scenic pictures on Instagram (CLICK HERE to see the pics).

I’m excited to share my adventures with you, and let me know if you have a song request 😉

This is my third time leading the UNBRIDLED Retreat and it’s a symbolic trip in many ways.

Eleven years ago, I hit rock bottom from depression and bulimia and went from a hospital, to a psych ward, to a holistic treatment center called Mirasol in Tucson, Arizona. At Mirasol, I experienced equine therapy for the first time and it saved my life. To read the full story, CLICK HERE.

It’s also where the lightbulb went off that my purpose was to help others experience healing through horses.

Now, I’m headed back to a sacred area of Tucson to help 10 women experience the healing power of horses in a retreat where the “Wild West”meets “Holistic Healing.” White Stallion Ranch (a 3,000 acre dude ranch) is located 30 minutes away from Mirasol, where my journey began.

Another reason that makes this trip special is I’ll be visiting Marla Kuhn of Blue Horse Medicine

Marla was my equine therapist at Mirasol, and it was working with her and her horse, “Jack,” that inspired my passion, my calling, and what has now been my career for the past six years.

You never know where the trail is going to lead (I certainly didn’t), and eleven years ago I never would have imagined where I’d be today. From the holistic treatment center to leading a holistic retreat, it has been a full circle experience.

From what I’ve discovered, sometimes our greatest struggles become our greatest gifts.

I hope you’ll ride alongside as I drive down through the Four Corners, and past cities such as Truth or Consequences (no joke) in New Mexico, and into the land of saguaros and breathtaking sunsets.

On the road again…just can’t wait to get on the road again,

Devon

P.S. If you’re interested in attending the next UNBRIDLED Arizona Retreat on March 2nd – 5th, 2017, CLICK HERE for more information and to reserve a spot. 

Are you feeding your soul or your ego?

dev

Since moving to the ranch, I’ve softened. My energy has softened, my voice has softened and my body has softened.

I’ve started living in alignment with who I truly am.

When I’m on the phone, my friends tell me that my voice is less intense. I’m not trying so hard and pushing to make things happen.

I’ve found a new rhythm.

It doesn’t involve cable, constant Starbucks runs, a real estate career and frequent happy hours like my city life did. That rythm fed my ego and kept me going at an unnatural pace. Constantly striving and driving.

The satisfaction was fleeting. It looked good from the outside. It worked ok. But it didn’t feel right.

My current rhythm is much more in sync with my true nature.

It involves waking up without an alarm clock, going to bed around ten, caring for five horses, ranch chores, driving tractors, looking at the stars, building relationships in the community, expressing my gifts and pouring my heart into Beyond the Arena and then letting go of the outcome.

I’ve stopped pushing, forcing and hunting down what I want. Thank god because I was repelling people, business opportunities and potential romantic relationships away. My masculine energy had over ridden my feminine energy and it was an energetic turn off.

Somewhere along the way I had picked up the belief that I couldn’t be vulnerable, feminine, soft AND pursue my dreams and achieve success at the same time.

Nature and the ranch have taught me differently.

That I can’t control everything. That it’s ok to stop holding on so tightly. That the weather is going to change. That the sun is still going to come out. That it’s safe to surrender. To surrender to my calling and my true nature. That’s my new definition of success.

Coming from that perspective, new business has come in unexpected ways. No surprise really. I finally got out of my own way. I let go of how I was convinced things SHOULD look and started trusting how they are naturally meant to unfold. Easier said then done but I’ve got  a great mentor: Nature.

Nature’s got it figured out. I’ve started following her lead.

I still do what needs to be done but then I let go. My energy has shifted and that has made all the difference.

I’ve also shifted into gratitude. I can’t help it. It’s too beautiful here.

I was sweeping the barn aisle last week. All the doors were open and there was a breeze coming through. I could hear the horses contently munching hay outside in the paddock. A huge wave of gratitude overcame me. It brought me down to my knees in the middle of the barn aisle. Tears streamed down my face and gratitude busted me wide open.

I’ve never felt so alive. So connected.

I feel nourished and full. My body has softened. My natural curves have filled in and I FEEL whole, beautiful and feminine. I feel like the woman I’m meant to be.

When my soul is fed everything else seems to fall into place.

What feeds your soul?

Until you try something new, you never know what the outcome will be. That’s the catch, you never know until you answer the call and FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION.

Why else are we here if not to do what makes your soul happy? It’s not selfish. What’s selfish is compromising who you are and holding back from sharing your natural gifts with the world.

I’m not saying it’s easy to let go of your comfort zone, the familiar, what you THINK you need in order to feel successful, happy and content. But it is worth exploring.

You may be surprised at what you need to thrive.

For me, it was less stuff, more nature. Less striving, more trusting and allowing.

Once you start feeding your soul and aligning with your true nature, the universe responds. I guarantee it. My ego kept me in the city. My intuition brought me to the ranch.

Trust your intuition and find what feeds your soul. Then immerse yourself in it as much as possible. Your life will change for the better.

Love,

Devon

How to go for your dreams

Two years ago I packed up my life (including Namo), left a six year real estate career, cashed my last commission check and moved from Denver to the Larkspur ranch.

move 1

Well-intentioned friends, family and colleagues advised me to keep my real estate license “just in case” and “as a backup”.

But my intuition said something different. It told me to cut off the golden handcuffs and go for it. After three and a half years of working in real estate and building Beyond the Arena simultaneously, it was time to make the leap.

So I did. I was bound and determined to never have the phrases “Outstanding curb appeal” and “Light and bright kitchen” come out of my mouth again.

And I’m happy to report they have not. Not even “Brand new stamped concrete patio, perfect for entertaining.”

After years of trying to be who I thought I should be, I began living my life in alignment with who I really am…a woman who is much happier helping people find their personal worth vs. the worth of their home.

Being true to yourself is about going for what you want, not what you think you “should” want based on the expectations of your friends, your spouse, your kids, your relatives, or your colleagues.

Following your dreams requires risk, uncertainty and courage. It is the road less traveled, and if you’re reading this far I know you’ve got a calling…even if you’re not living it yet.

It may not happen overnight but it will happen over time if you never give up, believe in yourself, get support, take risks, find mentors, and give it everything you’ve got.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND TRUST YOUR INTUITION. It will guide you, one step (and leap), at a time.

Follow Your Calling

Everyone has a calling; a path to follow. It’s our job to follow that calling in whichever direction it leads.

It means trusting your intuition and having faith, letting go of who you think you “should be” and embracing who you are. When you follow what you love, you find what you’ve been looking for.

Dev and Namo

 

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” — Rumi

Trust what speaks to your heart,

Devon

Do you struggle to find your passion? Try THIS…

While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this morning, I stopped mid scroll when I came across Dr. Christiane Northrup’s post. (Side note, if you haven’t read her book “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”, I suggest you do so immediately.)

She posted:

“What did you love when you were between nine and eleven years old?  Is that your profession or hobby now?”

I LOVE this topic and as a coach, I’m frequently asked by clients “How do I find my passion?”

The journey of finding your passion is not about finding it as much as uncovering it. Your passion is already an innate part of you. It may just be buried or you haven’t been in an environment where it’s fueled.

When I was between the ages of nine and eleven I was obsessed with horses.

I would wear cowgirl boots to school and t-shirts with cartoon horse characters (see pic below). A few other horse crazy girls and I would set up jumps aka picnic benches at recess and design courses. Then we’d “pick up a canter” and jump over the benches pretending we were horses.

horse girl dev

I loved riding horses just as much as I loved being with them. Caring for them. Grooming them. Being in the barn and listening to them eat hay. It was where I felt most like myself. It was in the presence of horses.

As I grew up, I strayed from my passion and put other priorities to the forefront. I lost sight of that horse loving girl. I lost myself.

I got derailed and my soul revolted. I developed an eating disorder which was the red flag for how far I’d ventured from what fulfilled me. As the universe would have it, I ended up at a treatment center in Arizona that had equine therapy. Through a non-linear path, I circled back to horses, but this time in a new way.

Haphazardly, my passion was reignited. 

However, it did NOT mean in that moment I had it all figured out.

But when I started re-engaging with my horse passion without stressing about figuring it all out, doors opened. Mentors appeared. Opportunities came my way. The same will happen for you when you re-engage with what you used to love.

The universe wants us to be fulfilled. Our childhood passions are clues on the trail to fulfillment. We must follow them.

Even if it’s not the “holy grail” answer right away, stoking the fire of what you used to love will always lead you in the right direction.

If you’re trying to find your passion, give yourself permission to explore and excavate. Go back. What did you love when you were nine to eleven years old?  If you can’t remember, ask a sibling or relative or get out an old photo album.  Your childhood passion is the compass to your fulfillment. 

So what did you used to love doing? Is it a part of your life now? I’d love to hear from you, share your experience in the comments below. 

The girl who now wears cowgirl boots to work,

Devon

Chakras and Shotguns…a girl’s Montana memoir

Sometimes a girl needs a change of scenery.

As much as I love our Colorado ranch, I needed to go beyond the arena for a few days. On an adventure to Big Sky Country for a Wildheart Retreat.

I decided to drive there. My gut told me I needed a solo road trip.

I didn’t know what lay in store for me on the road ahead but I knew that Montana had some answers.

So I put an air mattress in the back of the Suburban and headed North…

There is a reason Montana is called Big Sky Country. The skies stretch as far as the eye can see and gives a whole new meaning to wide open spaces. I fell in love immediately.

The retreat was led by the dynamic trio of fellow coaches Wildheart Revolution leader Sally Hope, Business & Money coach Ellen Ercolini and Love & Relationship coach Natalie Vartanian.

The weekend was packed with activities like ATVing, skeet shooting, horseback riding, barrel racing and learning about falconry.  We also wrote out what we wanted to let go of in our lives and burned the lists in a fire.

I had reservations about skeet shooting because I’m not a hunter and I have mixed feelings about guns. But I was willing to try and we had an amazing female instructor who gave a great safety demonstration.

I surprised myself…I loved it. Turns out, I’m a straight shooter and won a mug for hitting the most clay disks in my group.

Later that night I chatted about chakras and energy work with some fellow Wildhearts.

Point is, pre-Wildheart retreat I would only be sharing about the chakra part with you. Not wanting to rock the boat out of fear that you won’t agree or like the shooting part. Truth is, you may not agree and that’s ok.

For a long time, I was trying to fit in to a specific way that I wanted people to see me. Telling myself “If you’re this________then you can’t be that_______. I mean, what will people think?!” 

Talk about feeling suffocated and confined of my own doing.

But you can’t stay small in Montana. It brought out all my different sides. Complete opposites. Dichotomies all playing together. It was awesome and FREEING.

I loved feeling like a badass, driving ATV’s splashing through mud while having crystals in my pocket.

Basking in both the solitude of driving thirty hours on a solo road trip and being in a group of twenty amazing Wildhearted women for three days.

Car camping under the stars and staying in a beautiful lodge with luxurious rustic amenities.

Barrel racing like a cowgirl and later that night crying on trail horse Dandy’s shoulder, while he gave me some impromptu equine therapy.

Listening to Dolly Parton, Norah Jones and Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Drinking Coors Light one night and champagne the next.

Shooting shotguns and talking chakras.

Wearing a cowgirl hat and yoga pants.

Big Sky country taught me to expand and share more of myself with others. The feminine, vulnerable, rugged, tough, adventurous, sensitive sides. I’m all of it. Not one or the other. I gave myself permission to be all of it. To show up and fully be ME.

Montana is a great teacher. The landscape here is as diverse as the skies. Golden rays of morning light on the bald hilltops above the majestic rocky hills and wide open prairies. Montana puts it all out there, lucky for us!

Maybe you can relate? Do you hide or tone down sides of yourself so you don’t confuse people or rock the boat? Maybe you like opera and hip hop? Or you love riding motorcycles and sewing? Or you like to ride horses like the wind and experience their healing power in a therapeutic setting? Whatever it is, ROCK IT ALL.

The more you give yourself permission to show up as you really are, the more the right people and situations will find you.

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

What parts of yourself are you ready to share more of? You don’t just have to be one way. BE ALL OF YOU.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments below….whinny at me!

The git r’ done metaphysical cowgirl,

Devon

What to do when the Confidence train doesn’t stop at your station

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams…”

Thanks, Henry David Thoreau but what if I don’t have the confidence yet?

Here’s what I propose, “Go in the direction of your dreams…one shaky step at a time.”

“I’ve been afraid every single day of my life, but I’ve gone ahead and done it anyway.” ~Georgia O’Keefe

When I was twenty-three, my dream was in the form of a blue-eyed boy named Nick in my real estate class.

He was gorgeous and I mean the kind of piercing blue eyes that make a girl’s palms sweat and cheeks blush at the sight of him.

I can’t believe I even learned anything in class but he was a damn good excuse to show up every day.

And to apply that extra layer of lip gloss every 20 minutes.

We didn’t exchange words for the whole three weeks, just a lot of stalking looks on my part and he threw a few casual glances my way.

At the end of week three, we took our final exams and I turned mine in.

I looked around and noticed he wasn’t there.

Nick where art thou Nick?

I booked it out of the lecture room and took off  down the hall, frantically looking around.

It turned out that he was finishing the test in a nearby room, free of distractions.

I walked by, saw him alone in there and fear struck my heart.

The universe had definitely thrown me a bone.

It was now or never.

The familiar rambling inner critic voice reared her head but I didn’t stay in my head.

Instead I reined in the huge rush of fear adrenaline and took action.

“You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” ~Wayne Gretzky

I nervously walked into the room.

He looked up from his test and did not smile.

Oh shit, what was I doing?

I smiled like a crazy woman and scampered over to the desk where he was sitting.

Voice shaking, I blurted out “Hi, I’m Devon.”

He said hi and that his name was Nick.

I already knew his name but I didn’t tell him that.

Scared

“Don’t mean to bother you, but, ummm, I don’t know if you’re spoken for or not but, ummmm, would you ever want to get coffee sometime?”

Shut my mouth and stopped stammering.

Now he grinned a little, put his pen down and sat back in his chair. “Umm, haha, no I’m not spoken for and yeah that sounds cool.”

I almost passed out, I was holding my breath at this point.

“Great!!! What’s the best way to get in touch with you?”

OMG I sounded like I was at a networking event.

“Here I’ll give you my number.”

He wrote down his number and I tried to control myself.

Walked backward right into a chair and almost fell over.

Blushing like wildfire, I sheepishly grinned and said “Awesome, I’ll text you!”

I spun around like I’d just won the lottery.

Walked outside, got into my car and started fist pumping.

I was so PROUD of myself for just doing it.

We ended up dating for two years.

Point is, I was a nervous wreck.

If I had waited until confidence came, I would have been dead in the water because it never came.

Fear was pulsing through me but I took action in spite of it.

Instead of letting it paralyze me I used it for fuel.

I took one small step for womankind and one huge step for Devon.

My confidence muscles were weak and flabby at the time.

But they got their first real workout that day.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

And I’ve been building the confidence muscles ever since.

One day and one step at a time. In different areas of my life.

Just a girl

How do you build yours?

Is it saying “NO” to something you really don’t want to do?

Is it saying “YES” to something you normally never would do?

What’s something you could take action on that’s a complete 180 degree difference of what you’d normally do?

Instead of letting fear paralyze you, take advantage of the enormous energy it has behind it.

Channel it into action. Act on it and confidence will follow, I guarantee it.

So go talk to that person. Or leave a conversation that doesn’t feel good to you.

Email the person who has the amazing job you’d want to do someday and ask to take them out to coffee.

Or ask the dude you’ve been crushing on to go out to coffee.

Sign up for the class at the nearby community college. Speak up in class, in the boardroom or in the bedroom.

“Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.” ~ Anonymous

Here’s what I suggest:  Just GO in the direction of your dreams.

Trembling in your boots. Or high heels. Or tennis shoes.

With a shaky voice, sweaty palms and heart pounding with fear of failure, success, being judged, looking stupid, the unknown.

If you’re scared of trying something, that’s a good sign.

Means it’s a risk worth taking and you are headed in the right direction.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” ~ Joseph Campbell

So what do YOU think? Can you relate? Is fear keeping you from moving forward?

Your confidence will build over time but FIRST you gotta take action.

What’s ONE thing you can do this week to move forward toward your dream in spite of fear?

I’d love to hear in the comments below so that I can support you!

Giddy up and let’s do this!

Devon

Friday’s Frisky Filly has a message for YOU

Earlier this week I received a private Facebook message that stopped me in my tracks.

A Facebook “former” fan of Beyond the Arena, someone whom I do not know and have never met, wrote me this:

“I liked your page because it was about getting conscious and going inward with the power of horses. Comparing a man to a stallion is just as degrading to a man as it would be if a man posted something similar about a women. I, as a woman, do not want to be objectified nor compared to an animal and if you do so to a man…I believe….it gives men permission to do the same to women. I wanted you to know that for a business that is about being conscious…you may want to look deeper into yourself and ask…what this post really represents for you and your image at Beyond the Arena.”

Yikes. My first reaction was shock. Then fear that I had pissed someone off and they didn’t like me and my business.

Then anger boiled up in response to feeling challenged about what I represent.

Then a cool wave of calmness rolled over me. I thought, hey fair enough, we are all entitled to our own opinion and I’m not here to tone myself down to please everyone.

What it really challenged me to do was to articulate and share what I represent through Beyond the Arena. This is a good thing.

Truth is, no one has control over how people react to different things and everyone views life through their own lens. 

My intention is not to degrade men. In my perspective, light-heartedly referring to a man as a stallion is a compliment. The people who are drawn to Beyond the Arena and my coaching style, tend to agree.

But not everyone sees it that way and that’s ok.

To me, a stallion is a fascinating horse. When a stallion is unrestrained and in their natural state, they have an undeniable masculine energy that is captivating.  A stallion’s presence can evoke all kinds of different emotions within humans.

Beyond the Arena is about evoking and processing emotions.

But that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

As for permission…I’m conscious that I’m giving myself permission to be who I am and I’m allowing different parts of myself to show up in my business.

My Inner Frisky Filly likes to come out and play (especially on Fridays) as well as my Inner Holistic Goddess and my Inner Intuitive Life Coach and many other parts make appearances throughout my work.

I’m also conscious that every woman whom has worked with Beyond the Arena has benefited from a good laugh as much as a good cry. When I’m coaching, I round up the parts of myself that are going to serve my clients the best, in any given moment.

What Beyond the Arena represents is assisting women in giving themselves permission to express who they are. To explore and accept all parts of themselves. To turn inwards and become conscious to what makes us come alive. And to become conscious as to what keeps us stuck, miserable and depressed.

My intention with Friday’s Featured Stallion is to bring a smile to my readers faces (95% of whom are women), a giggle or belly laugh or perhaps a blush on the cheeks.

Hot cowboy for Nov 21

“The sacred and the sensual/sexual live very near one another in the psyche, for they all are brought to attention through a sense of wonder, not from intellectualizing but through experiencing something through the physical pathways of the body, something that for a moment or forever, whether it is a kiss, a vision, a belly laugh, or whatever, changes us, shakes us out, takes us to a pinnacle, smooths out our lines, gives us a dance step, a whistle, a true burst of life.”

~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. , Women Who Run with the Wolves

By the way, if you haven’t read Women Who Run with the Wolves, I HIGHLY recommend it.

Side note is that one of my goals in life is to write Women Who Run with the Horses…stay tuned on that 🙂

In our arena, the horses and I have had the honor of coaching and supporting hundreds of women in expressing their full range of emotions.

It is my belief that a deep belly laugh is just as healing as uncontrollable sobbing. No emotion is right or wrong. What’s wrong is not expressing who we truly are.

Not everyone jives with my Inner Frisky Filly and her often irreverent sense of humor. That’s ok. Those that do, including my family, friends and clients, have shared that it’s refreshing and it helps them snap out of a gloomy mood.

To have a sense of humor is an important part of the healing process. It can clear the cobwebs on the soul when nothing else works.

There’s something so raw and unfiltered about a woman expressing her sensual nature which is undeniably a part of who we are.

For me, it’s a joyful feeling that takes over my body when I post Friday’s Featured Stallion. I want the same for you when you see the post.

Funny joke

Here is one of my all time favorite pictures with two of my closest girlfriends that I have known since Kindergarden. We were howling. It was at a joke that some would find inappropriate. I was laughing so hard I lost all body function, hence my hand is in a unique position.

Now that’s a laugh that will clear out the cobwebs on the soul. And we did no harm in the process. Just the opposite actually. Here are three unbridled women who are expressing themselves and not suppressing themselves. In my opinion, that’s what the world needs more of.

Thanks for reading and I’d love your thoughts and comments. My intention is for you to express your unbridled self to the world. The horses and I can show you how.

Friday’s Frisky Filly,

Devon