Today is my 33rd birthday. I like the sound of “3-3″…I think those are lucky numbers so I’m going to go with it. One thing I want to do this year is to write more, and I’m beginning today. Kind of like making a commitment to go to the gym except I don’t need to go anywhere, I just need to sit with my laptop and click on the “add page” for a new blog post, instead of immediately checking emails or scrolling through Facebook (busted, I know…do you do it too?)
32 was a roller coaster year. I now know what it feels like to deeply love someone but not have that be enough to make a relationship work; to fall apart in front of friends and allow myself to be supported while I nurse my heartache; to uproot from where I live and work and be consumed by the fear of “what if I can’t make it” and “what if everything I’ve worked for fails”; and to take a leap and pitch my UNBRIDLED Retreat to a national magazine and invite their editor to attend and write about it.
It’s been a year, alright. The main takeaway I have from 32 is that change is scary but there are gifts in it.
What I know for sure is that you couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20’s. My 20’s were riddled with fear of not being perfect and putting an enormous amount of pressure on myself to look and act in a certain way.
My 30’s have been much better and although challenging at times, I feel more settled in my skin and better attuned to listen to myself and what my soul wants, as opposed to listening to who I “should” be.
My soul is telling me to write and share more, even when it’s not perfect (ahhh, the ol’ ego still rears its head at that.)
I like this quote from one of my favorite books, The Write to Write, by Julia Cameron, “Taking the time to write how we feel helps us to know how we feel.”
Today, I feel hopeful for the new year ahead and I’m glad I made the commitment to write as opposed to procrastinating and making excuses.
After posting this, I’m going to change out of my fuzzy robe and treat myself to a shopping trip at Murdochs’s to get Bogs winter boots (I refuse to go through another winter wearing crappy boots while feeding horses with freezing feet). Then I’m going on a horseback ride with a friend, having a massage at Massage Heights (I booked 90 minutes! #selfcare), come back feed and all the critters, and then meet a friend for dinner.
A good birthday in my book.
Thanks for reading and I will continue to write and share more with you this year. Basically, I want to connect more and this is how my intuition is guiding me to do it. So stay tuned, and I hope you have a great Friday.
Off to Murdoch’s where I’ll try and not get distracted by all the pretty, shiny, horse buckets.